Ethan Kelly for Communications Director
This lispy Chinese twink has proven he deserves the job.
Ethan “Let’s Talk Elections” Kelly is a Harvard School of Politics student and Biden campaign recruit who projects his neoliberal globalist viewpoints onto the world. His ability to bravely ignore inconvenient information and parrot establishment talking points would make him an invaluable asset to any organization dedicated to preserving the liberal status quo and expanding the power of corporate America.
From crying over the 2021 Virginia Gubernatorial race on a livestream to claiming that he knew the existence of a mythical 17-point shift in Biden’s favor would be upon us following the sham convictions of President Donald Trump, I can think of no better candidate for this position.
By degrading himself and profiting off of the delusional wishes of cat ladies from high-income suburbs from coast to coast, Ethan has formed a mini-empire of his own: a grift that keeps on giving in the form of his YouTube channel. While the jury is still out as to whether or not Ethan is in fact affiliated with the Biden campaign, I still think it is important to go over the evidence at hand.
Evidence one: he shilled for Pfizer on TikTok. Yes, this is admittedly not anywhere near the smoking gun, the fact that he is in a position to take ad deals for Pfizer is fascinating, to say the least.
Evidence two: he was part of the Clinton campaign in some capacity. We can see in another one of his TikToks him wearing a “Clinton for President 2016” shirt at what appears to be a Clinton campaign-sponsored dinner party presumably on election night.
Evidence three: his takes on elections line up with the same narrative that the Biden administration wants to manifest into reality. To prove this, I watched every one of this man’s last 150 videos and listed them in one of six categories: pro-Biden, anti-Trump, pro-Democrat, anti-Republican, politically neutral, and April fools.
After watching every video of his based on the way Ethan spun their messages, I have found that 12 of the 150 videos (including the April Fools video) did not have either a sinistrophilic (pro-left) or dextrophobic (anti-right). All of this is to say that 92% of his most recent 150 videos lined up with the contemporary mainstream left.
On a completely unrelated note, a content farm in the context of online video is a channel with the express purpose of mass-producing content made to appeal to a specific demographic that will consume said content frequently.
Can we call videos of a lispy Harvard kid reading off a script with rudimentary video editing “quality content”? As for the people watching his videos? A single look at his comments section and we can see a horde of bots, resistlibs, and paid shills repeating the same few platitudes about how Orange Man is bad and is fascist ad nauseum.
Now for his upload schedule. This was approximately 4 and a half months’ worth of content. 4 and a half months is 140 days. This means that while he studies at what is supposedly one of the world’s most intensive institutions of higher education and routinely works with the local Biden campaign (his Twitter is affiliated with HarvardforBiden), he manages to upload over one video per day.
With all of this dedication to propaganda and the manipulation of reality for a not-so-subtle political end, the formulation of a rather profitable venue to do so on top of the fact, and a fanatical desire to serve the establishment since at least his early middle school years, I believe that Ethan Kelly would be the perfect communications director for Biden.
#LispyChineseTwinks4Biden
#ILoveTheEstablishment
#ResistFascism
#LTE